The best gifts you can give are free

We so often grapple with being judged. I dedicate many moments on releasing any judgement of others because I suppose I recognise that any judgement really is only coming from within me, and is only, in the end, going to hurt me. In more recent years, this has also probably come from lots of reading and studying ‘A course in miracles’. If we are one, any judgement is eventually about oneself.


anonymous quote

However, in all of this reaching to understand myself and others, there are things that I know and believe deeply. I am grateful for my writing because I can be me. We often mould ourselves to protect ourselves from the judgement of others, and although I would say for the most part especially now in my forties, I am true to my belief’s in my interactions with others.

I am also happy with who I am, possessing a growing sense of self-awareness of which was completely lost to me in younger years. I also live in alignment with my values, as my friends would say more than the average person. And, this is where my instinctive grappling comes in, as I know that I can judged as ‘miss perfect’ which can be quite annoying to some and I can find myself working to rid myself of this title with specific people, I share my truth but it can fall on deaf ears. This is ultimately damaging to oneself, as, those who do know me and love me do not carry those judgements and I feel nothing but love and interest emanating from them.

Therefore, why is it important to help others to release their judgement on us? It is called acceptance, as a human being, we crave to be accepted. I think as well for me, I have such a drive to help young people, given that the teenage years were my most dark times, that being a role model is part of my ‘why’, my reason for getting up each day, going to school, reading, learning, writing, all of it carries a purpose. Encouraging others to also be role models is part of that purpose, and see that I used the word encourage. It is never about force or judgement, it is about showing love and interest.

I am so far from perfect, I aspire to be a role model to young people, in the form of showing up and demonstrating where I can how treating others well, giving the gifts of love and interest lights us up. I make mistakes every day, I have hurt others. This is my truth.

I teach young people every day, many of whom do not have role models, those people they can look up to and receive the gifts of love and interest in their daily lives. I feel that, what was an integral part of a community in the past, has become highly expected from a school. Schools are amazing communities, but even in my 5 years of teaching, I can recognise the number of vulnerable pupils increasing. The pressure for all of the basic foundations, tools and strategies to support them in being able to contribute to society left to the school community and the surrounding authorities. It is a huge pressure and one we all need to step up to. The answers are far too complicated to solve in a day, month or year, but they are surely born out of fear and an increasing need to shut the door, look after our own. There is none more guilty than I, we give to charity to ease the sense of guilt.

My thoughts I share with you as vulnerable and imperfect as I am. In the hope, we can all strive to give the gifts of love and interest freely each day.

So much love and health,

Kelly x


A quote to ponder:



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