I laughed and giggled with my beautiful 14 year old daughter, both of us looking at our bikini clad reflections in the mirror as she attempted to show me how to take a selfie. It was right then in that Spanish apartment that I had a moment, a memory, a reflection even which inspired this post.
You may have worked hard to lose weight so many times to have it creep back on within a few months or you are just unable to last more than a few days on any weight loss diet. This was a vicious circle for me from a very young age and if this sounds familiar read on…
We know that many diets do work in the short term and making lifestyle changes will go along way for you in keeping a healthy weight. It really is about building in strategies that work for you, but it is also about the psychology of eating for so many of us.
As I admired myself in my bikini I realised just how far I had come.
Do not misunderstand, I am certainly no model, which is absolutely fine with me. I am accepting of my imperfections as they are part of me.
This is what I want you to feel, worthy and accepting of your whole self and believe me it is a consistent practise which everyone can do. Follow my steps to self acceptance and believe that you will change your mindset. It is this which will be the most important step to a permanent healthy weight and self love.
When I made my mind up that I would lose weight for good nearly 20 years ago,I also had an even more important wish. I declared to myself that I wanted to love my body. I was fed up of the self loathing, the dressing to cover up every lump and bump. My most vivid memories of covering up was sweating profusely as I donned fully lined long sleeved jackets to go clubbing, whilst slim friends wore skimpy clothes. I wanted to love or even just like my body.
I wasn’t entirely sure how I would do this, as up until now I had existed on the extremes of eating too much to restricting food – the hateful relationship to food and self was a way of life thus far, how could I change? I started to read stories of weight loss and the psychology of self image. This was when I realised that as I imagined myself fat this is how I would stay. Even when I lost weight I saw a fat girl in the mirror, therefore the weight kept piling back on. Is this you? If so you can take these steps to change your psychology.
I had to believe I already had the body I wanted, I really was a slim (“I am slim and happy with my body”) person.
In other words I had to change the story in my head, the story of the fat girl with a disgusting body needed to go!
1. You do need to commit to working on yourself every day.
2. Write your new story, make it what you want. You must make it as specific as you can, include your happy weight, how you want to feel. Then read this story every day, as many times as you are able until you can repeat it in your head from memory.
3. This step will become easier and this is not something I could do for a long time, however adding in affirmations will speed up the change in your mindset.
Say your affirmations daily – here are some examples “I am beautiful with all of my imperfections”; “I am a healthy happy weight”; “I am loving leading a healthy lifestyle” ; I deserve to fuel my body in a healthy way”.
4. Visualise yourself, happy in an outfit or a bikini – do this at least once a day as you read your new story (step 2).
5. Make and plan in small changes to form health habits each week e.g swap fizzy/ sugary drinks for water, reduce food portions, add in greens.
You can do these steps and you can be the “you”, you want to be, you just have to believe.
Following these steps will take you to the belief. You are a human being connected to everything, meaning you are as deserving as anyone else of love, so give it to yourself first.
Love and health,